Counting the Days

It's not just numbers...

Spring is a mixed bag for me. A complicated amalgam of hope and despair, anguish and celebration, joy and sorrow, angst and anticipation. Golden days for this sports junkie—March Madness, NASCAR, baseball season and the NFL draft—are juxtaposed against Lent. The unhappy anniversaries of the tests and diagnosis of my late husband Bill’s terminal illness are sandwiched between birthdays and anniversaries and the publication date of my most recent book. Greening grass, budding flowers and trees, and the promise of planting season lighten my heart, then horrible headlines and gray cold days complete with snow flurries crush it again.

On one of those roller coaster days, my morning reading was Psalm 90, and the rendering of verse twelve caught my heart. The way I learned the verse, and the way I most often remember it now, is “…so teach us to number our days…” (Ps. 90:12, KJV). But in Norman Fischer’s Zen translation “Opening to You” it reads, “Help me understand how to count my days, how to embrace my life…”

Fischer’s wording was a powerful reminder that in the same way I prattle through familiar texts without paying much attention, because I *know* what they say, I can “count” my days—wander through them, mindlessly putting one foot in front of the other—without noticing, experiencing, or feeling what’s there.

I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to retreat and become nothing more than a spectator in my own life. I want to not just count the days but make the days—whatever they hold—count in some way.

Fischer’s words have become my mantra for this spring—one of the hardest ones I’ve endured since Bill’s illness and death in 2014.

“…Help me understand how to count my days, how to embrace my life…”

Mary Oliver puts it this way in stanza four of her poem “Sometimes”:

“Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
Mary Oliver, Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver. Penguin Books, New York, NY, 2017, p. 105.

As I seek that understanding, as I embrace my life, I’m following Mary’s instructions. Rather than withdrawing or retreating, I’m paying attention. I’m being intentional about honoring the memories, acknowledging the pain, facing the hard things, *and* surrounding myself with beauty, pursuing joy, opening up to celebration. By doing so, I often find myself astonished - in the best of ways. And I’m telling you about it, right now.

How about you, Dear Reader? How are you “counting your days”? Embracing your life? What are you tending? Astonished by? Talking about?

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While I’d usually offer a teaser from my novel-in-progress Outside In, this month a celebration is in order for my second book on her second book birthday, April 8, 2025.

Happy Second Book Birthday, “Sophie!”

I’m celebrating with deep joy and gratitude both for having the honor and privilege of writing and publishing Sophie’s amazing story, and also for all the people who helped make that possible.

You can be part of the birthday festivities too.

It’s easy.

*If you’ve read and enjoyed “Sophie” all you have to do is help spread the word in whatever way works best for you.

*Recommend her to your reading friends and local book clubs.

*Suggest her to your local library if she isn’t already on the shelf.

*Snap a photo of “Sophie” and post it on your social media feeds.

*Leave a review on the website of the retailer from which you purchased the book. If you’re part of the Goodreads community, a review can be left there as well.

A review doesn’t have to be long or complicated; just a sentence or two about what you liked—or didn’t—is enough. Reviews from readers like you help others find books like “Sophie” and each sale and review helps us independent authors keep writing.

If you haven’t read her story yet, “Sophie” is available in both paperback and e-book from Bookshop.org, Ink & Imprint Books (if you’re in Central Illinois), Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, all Ingram Book Group retailers worldwide, as well as Amazon.

“Sophie” was a labor of love for me, but I didn’t do all the work. Here’s to you, Susi Clark at Creative Blueprint Design, Hannah Bauman at Between the Lines Editorial, Carly Catt at Catt Editing, Ellen Polk at Sage House Editorial, Pia Edberg at Dream Book Academy, and the artists at MiblArt.

And here’s to all of you—my friends, readers, and followers. Thank you for your encouragement and support. I’m beyond grateful for your companionship on this writing journey and couldn’t do it without you.

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